You wouldn’t believe how many messages I’ve received over the years from women who were trying to attract an Aries guy, where everything seemed to be going great one moment, only to suddenly have him turn cold and distant on her.
And the truth is, Aries men can be notorious for this type of behavior. When he is “with” you, it can feel as though you are the only woman in the world. He’ll be playful, excitable, passionate and extremely protective.
But when he pulls away, it can feel as though you are just an afterthought in his life. He can cancel plans at a moments notice and put up a wall so high, that even a sledgehammer couldn’t break it down.
If you feel like your Aries man is constantly pulling away: you’re not imagining things and you’re definitely not alone. Because this is a phenomenon I’ve seen so many times before and unfortunately pretty typical behavior for an Aries guy.
It can definitely be frustrating to deal with. But today I want to give you some insight into exactly why these men play the hot and cold game, as well as some some advice on what you can do to pull him right back.
1. He feels like things are moving too quickly and is scared of his feelings.
The Aries guy has a habit of jumping head-first into things and acting on gut instinct. And when he meets a woman that he is really into, he can dive right in the deep-end and want to be around her all the time.
But then as things start to develop and become more serious, his commitment-phobic instincts can kick in BIG time, and he can find himself overwhelmed by how quickly things are moving. This can result in him becoming distant, elusive and hard to reach.
The good new though, is if he’s pulling away for this reason, this doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is doomed or that he wants to break up. In fact, many times it’s a sign that his feelings are quite serious, but he’s scared by how quickly those feeling are developing.
So what should you do if you find yourself in this situation? Well first of all, whatever you do, don’t smother him as it will only push him further away. He most likely needs some time to process his emotions.
Try not to put too much pressure on the relationship and instead re-assure him that you are happy to take things slowly. Avoid talking too long term or bringing up fantasies of white picket fences, and give him a chance to catch up to his feelings.
2. He’s having second thoughts and is doubting your compatibility.
Now this is another problem that can arise early on in a relationship, in which the Aries guy has jumped in head-first.
But unlike the first issue, this one can be a lot more problematic.
You see, sometimes when he is highly physically attracted to a woman, he will allow it to cloud his judgment to such a degree, that he fails to actually consider how much common ground he really has with her, or whether it’s enough to make a relationship work.
Then it’s only when he spends more time with that women, that he can start to get cold feet and hung up on all of the differences, questioning whether he should call the whole thing off.
This can be especially true in relationships, in which the foundations where built primarily off raw sexual chemistry. These men can easily be so overcome by their lust that they get caught up in the moment and fall into a relationship in which they later second guess.
If you’re worried that this may be the case, then it’s probably time to start an open and frank dialog to really get to the bottom of things. Let him know that you’re aware that something is off, and try to gage where his head is at. Try not to be accusatory but rather but rather give him an opportunity to be completely and brutally honest about the way he feels.
It’s better know the truth now, rather than allow things to drag on.
To get a better understanding of your compatibility with the Aries man, you can take my free compatibility test here, where you’ll be able to uncover exactly how well you match together, as well as any red flags that lie in your charts.
3. He feels like all of the challenge has disappeared from the relationship.
One of the things that you have to realize about Aries guys, is they thrive and are at the top of their game, when they have challenges to overcome and a goal that they can strive for.
He absolutely loves the thrill of the chase, but often when he finally gets the very thing that he wants so badly, he can suddenly lose all interest. And sometimes when he manages to get the girl, he can feel as though he has won the game, and like there is no more challenge left to be had.
The key to making sure that this doesn’t happen is to continue to give him a little chase, even when you reach the point of a committed relationship. This doesn’t mean that you have to play mind games or go hot-and-cold on him. But make him put in a little bit of work to impress you, give him a bit of tease, and give him that feeling of pursuit that he finds so damn exciting.
It’s also important to maintain your own sense of independence and spend time developing yourself away from him. Focus on your own goals and maintain a social life outside of the relationship. This not only gives him time to miss you, but shows him that you are continuing to evolve as a person, which will keep him chasing and wanting to be on his A-game.
4. He’s bored and feels like things are becoming too stagnant and routine.
To say that the Aries guy can be a restless creature would be something of an understatement. These men are notoriously unpredictable and can become bored the moment it feels like the spontaneity has been zapped from the relationship.
If he feels like you have fallen into a pattern of stagnation, going to the same date spots, discussing the same topics and trying the same things in the bedroom – that’s when his interest can start to fade, leading to him pulling away and becoming distant.
He hates the idea of falling into a such a rigid schedule that everything becomes predictable and nothing can surprise him. He craves adventure, excitement and loves not knowing what lays around the corner.
If you sense your Aries man is growing restless, then try to switch things up and add some spice back into the relationship. Surprise him with a fun and exciting date somewhere you’ve never been before or plan a weekend trip away at an exciting and exotic location.
Keep him on his toes by trying something new in the bedroom or by sending him a naughty text next time he’s stuck in the office. You can find some flirty texts to send the Aries man here, that are guaranteed to get him hot under the collar.
5. He feels like he is losing his independence.
For Aries guys, one of the things they fear the most is that they will lose their independence. These men yearn for freedom and need to live a life that’s on their own terms.
Once of the fastest ways to make him disappear, is to try to micromanage him, by placing too many rules and restrictions on him. Because when he feels like he is too constrained, his natural instinct will be to run away.
To make it work with an Aries man in the long-run, it’s imperative that you respect his need for independence and allow him to be his own man. If you sense that he is feeling cornered, then encourage him to spend time away from the relationship, whether that be socializing with his friends or pursuing his hobbies.
If you can show him that he can have a relationship without having to sacrifice his autonomy, then you’ll alleviate his fears, and he’ll love you all the more for it.
6. He’s overwhelmed and has bitten off more than he can chew.
It’s no secret that the Aries men can be seriously ambitious and wildly competitive in their nature. And whilst being “too busy” can sometimes be code for deeper problems in the relationship, other times it really does just means that he has a lot on his plate and is feeling overwhelmed.
His ambition can be admirable but it can also lead to him overestimating his abilities and taking on a bigger work load than he can realistically handle. Then because he doesn’t want to seem weak or incapable, he can put up a wall to try to hide it, rather than expressing just how burnt out he truly feels.
If you feel like the Aries man is pulling away or not responding because he’s got too much on his plate, the best thing you can do is express understanding and empathy for his situation. Try to show him that you’ve got his back, and are there for him if he needs to vent.
You can try to offer to help but with his “I can do everything myself” temperament, it’s likely that he will be hell bent on tackling things on his own. But just knowing that you understand, and are there for him when he needs it, can make a whole world of difference.
7. He’s hung up about something and is struggling to be emotionally vulnerable.
Whilst it’s true that these men can often be extremely direct and to-the-point, when it comes to being emotionally vulnerable, they can really struggle to let their guard down and open up.
This is especially true earlier in the relationship, before a deeper level of trust and connection has been built. If there’s something that’s obviously eating away at him but he’s not willing to talk about it, then trying to force it out of him can be like trying to draw blood out of a stone.
In this situation, the best approach is to be extremely patient and wait until he is ready. Let him know that you understand that he may not be ready to open up, but are willing to offer a safe and non-judgmental space to talk, whenever he is ready.
It might take time in a relationship for him to build up enough trust and rapport before he is able to get to this point, but with enough patience and re-assurance, he’ll will eventually get there.